I had a HORRIBLE morning; My poor husband. AND Office BDay!
What a morning. It has been horrible! Sorry guys, but I’m gonna complain just a bit now.
I woke up with a bad headache - I think I slept too low on my pillow last night. Anyway, when I have a headache, it just puts me in a bad mood and makes everything annoying. So…my hair is long and takes forever to dry (about 12 minutes with the blow dryer). And with my head hurting, I gave up after about 3 or 4 minutes and put my wet hair in a ponytail. Then the outfit I wanted to wear wasn’t fitting right, and that made the morning worse b/c it made me feel really fat and annoyed with my body.
A few months ago I was forced to buy some larger jeans b/c none of my pants were fitting anymore. I had been wearing a size 12, but I went and bought me some jeans in 14 and 16. I bought the 16s b/c I figured I’d been gaining weight, so I better go on and buy them in case I keep gaining. The fact that I could just do something like that so nonchalantly is crazy. I mean, that shoulda been the time when I said, I am NOT buying a size 16! I am going to lose this weight! But I didn’t, and now the 16s fit good and the 14s are a little too tight.
I changed clothes about 5 times this morning, and I was so frustrated and upset that I started crying to my husband about how much I don’t want to deal with anything - work, clothes, my body, my hair, NOTHING! Poor guy - he didn’t know what to do.
The whole morning, I just felt like a fat, ugly klutz. And the throbbing pain in my head didn’t help. I took some meds when I got to work, but it still hurts.
Oh, and it’s someone’s birthday at the office today, so there’s a big cookie cake (I had a small bite), and we’re going to Longhorn’s for lunch. More temptations, but I feel like I’ll come through it ok. And I’m sure my headache will go away, and after I lose a few pounds, my self image will start to improve, and my clothes will fit better, and I will no longer want to disappear. I just wish it wouldn’t take so long!
Oh I know those days…where you just want to climb out of your own skin and run like crazy. Im sorry youre feeling this way. Try to make a small bit of time to just chill in a quiet place…even if you can pull into a parking lot and sit for 15 minutes and just calm yourself…maybe a soak in the tub when you get home.
Beware of Longhorn…I got a chicken dish last week that was over 1000 calories for just the chicken! They do have a menu with nutrition info on it…check it out before you go…good luck!
((((((((((((((((((DEANNA))))))))))))))) What a morning! I hope the rest of the day flows better.
Your last paragraph pretty much says it all. You CAN do this. Some days, we’re just the one that’s on God’s cosmic dartboard - you had your day, so now the rest of the week can go well:) Read your own post - see how you’re regarding the temptations put in front of you, like the cake and Longhorn’s. You’re getting the mindset for the journey - and you have to remember, the journey to this new healthy lifestyle is going to take forever:) Believe in the goal, not in the barriers, Deanna.
Ups and downs, but at least you are getting it out of your system. As for the guys in our lives, as long as they know they do not have to say anything, then it is all good. SO thankful for them yes? But take it easy and enjoy those new pants. I bet they look terrific. I know one of the things I need to do when I am down is make sure I do my hair (for me, this is brush it), put a little make and jewelry on and SMILE. You can do this, you know this. Just know that it will pass. Take care Deanna. *hugs*